08.11.09 - 9.11am

I can't sleep. The sun is up but I haven't been able to sleep much at all in the last few days. All I do is sit in my room with the curtains drawn closed and surf the web - if anyone even uses the term 'surf' anymore. I've lost track of slang lately. I've noticed that if I don't pay close attention it happens pretty easily. It will feel like only a few days have passed and a year will have gone by.

I should say, that's the way it used to be, but for some reason the days are going slower now. It could be that I can't get my mind off my stomach long enough to pass out. I've been practically starving myself the last few nights. Between my loss of apetite, fasting Sundays, and having to stay in because of the torrential thunderstorm last night, I haven't had time to feed since the 8th.

But I'm rambling. I should get to the point. I'm going to start blogging about my life. Nothing special really, just a journal. For all intents and purposes, I'm a nineteen-year-old girl living in a small midwestern town. I like the small towns, even though that only means I have to leave sooner. The connections between the people make me feel more at home. I've just settled in this town, so I shouldn't have to leave for a few more years. Perhaps it's the town that makes me restless, because all of my insomnia started when I came here.

I'm getting off topic again. What I'm trying to say is I'm not what I appear. October 12 will be my 96th birthday. I was born in 1913, and time stopped for me in the year 1932, when a vampire named Jacques Cartier took me hostage to protect himself from a mob that was trying to kill him. At the time I was much more naive than you could possibly imagine, and I didn't understand what was happening until it was too late. Jacques was killed by the mob, but when they came after him he quickly made sure he would get his revenge by transforming me.

There's not much more I can say about my past that wouldn't be exceptionally boring, except that everything changed from that moment. But this journal is going to be about my present, not the past.

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Sorry, the curtains came open and I had to find more tacks to keep them closed. The sunlight gives me an awful headache, especially with as little sleep and food as I've had.

Speaking of sleep, I'd better try to get some. On some Tuesdays, my landlady who I'm renting the room over their garage from, likes to come over and check on me. She pretends to be nice, but I can tell she thinks I'm trouble. She's given me strange looks ever since I refused to say grace when they invited me to dinner on my first night in town. Normally I wouldn't have, but they're Catholic and insisted I hold a rosary to pray, which wouldn't have turned out well - the cross doesn't burn like fire, at least not to me, but it definitely feels like someone strapped a car battery to my fingers and revved the engine.

Sleep well.


.Nadia